It's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things since we got back from holiday, so apologies to my faithful readers for the delay. Apart from the general malaise that settles after a sunny holiday when one must return to the grind, we had to get the boy to the doctor and in for x-rays after he jumped off the trampoline and landed on his knees, the cat had to go to the vet when she started peeing blood all over the house, and my car was out of its warrant of fitness and needed new tyres. Accordingly, it has been a long and expensive week that we didn't really need.
But here we are, back again. I'd like to get straight into my review of
Hoad's Grim, but first I need to say a few words about the Audiobook market and my
previous review of Phil Rossi's
Crescent. Mainly, it needs to be said that there are two (at least) very different creatures out there; the audio drama, and the author-read audiobook. Both are performance art, but they exist in different parts of the creative sphere, and I was in error to compare
Hoad's Grim to
Crescent in the first place.
Crescent was read and produced by the author, and since finishing
Crescent I have listened to many more author-read podcasts, most of which I couldn't make it right through the first chapter of, either because of the quality of the performance or the audio itself, or because the story didn't grab me like I thought it would. Of all those I've listened to,
Crescent still rates at the top (followed closely now by
Eden, Phil Rossi's new podcast novella.).
Hoad's Grim, on the other hand, is a highly polished, magnificently produced audio performance, incorporating fantastic layerings of dialogue, sound effects and music. There are also multiple professional voice talents involved in this production, including the author
Jack Kincaid and vocal maestro
James "Killer" Keller, as well as the not inconsiderable audio production skills that Kincaid brings to bear on the work. Like
The Leviathan Chronicles,
Hoad's Grim is a lavish professional production, and needs to be considered as such.
Before you ask,
Hoad's Grim is a horror story, so if the genre doesn't appeal, then I imagine that the audiobook won't. Non-aficionados of the horror genre are excused, and for those who are fans and wish to continue reading, I promise there will be no spoilers.
Except to say that this is about a haunted fridge. Oh yeah. Now that is a scary premise, all unto itself. It may sound odd and a bit lame, but I guarantee you it's not. I will never look at an old fridge rusting in an empty lot the same way again.
Before I started listening to this, I was an Audiobook virgin, and
Hoad's Grim most definitely popped my cherry, and left me wanting more. As soon as I started listening to the
prologue, I was transported to another time and place, and even into another mind. It was nothing like what I had expected, and I immediately wanted to hear more. The story hooks the listener in right from the start, as the multiple layers of speech, music, atmos and effects draw you down deeper into the dark and frankly terrifying world that Kincaid builds.
There is never any confusion about who is speaking at any time, or where the characters might be - unless Kincaid doesn't want you to know. And that just makes it all the more scary. Like a good horror movie, the frights in
HG come as much from what you can't see or hear but from what you might sense on the edges of perception; the creeping sense of dread that clings to every darkened doorway and silent television conjured through words and sounds alone.
What really made
HG work was its completely immersive experience. I listen to my audiobooks in the car driving to and from work, and when I had
HG on, I could drive untold kilometres and only remember being on the windy, weed-choked curb of Saybrook Way, watching Chad "The Hammerman" Hyman struggle with the demons in his mind, and lurking in the shadows of that haunted street. It was like reading a book but better, because the voices were
there, and the wind curled around their words, and the chittering of the dark creations that grew out of the shadows actually chittered across the speakers, scraping and clawing as if they sought their own way into the world.
I sat up in bed one night, with most of the lights off, listening, because I was really hooked on the story. I only did that once. I like my sleep.
Based on the folklore of the tommyknockers,
HG plays on everyone's fear of unseen things that go bump in the night, and on the fear of being left alone in the dark with those things. The listener is left chilled by what the mind is not just encouraged to imagine, as in a book, but by those conjured horrors which you are
forced to see in the darkness behind your own eyes as the audio landscape drags you into Kincaid's twisted nightmare.
If you like a good scare, then this comes highly recommended.
Hoad's Grim is complete at 24 chapters and available free from
Kincaid's site. I have been unable to fault
HG, and I will probably listen to it again. I was going to say that I thought the last chapter had left a few too many loose ends, but then I realised that there was one more that I hadn't downloaded, so that puts a lid on that.
Absolutely brilliant. Whether you're a fan of horror and want to hear just how good an audiodrama can be, or if you love good audiobooks and are willing to dare the terrors that lurk in the Grim, do yourself a favour and listen to this.
Five Stars.
For more interesting info, you can check out this interview with Jack Kincaid and James Keller, by John Joseph Adams of Tor.com (
Part 1;
Part 2). This was the article that got me interested enough to listen to a story about a haunted fridge. Yip, a haunted fridge. Brilliant stuff.
One big bowl of potatoes that we didn't have to buy. Woo!
Boiled up with fresh mint straight from the garden... 
...and tossed with butter. Delicious, and satisfying, in so many ways.
And we got our first pumpkins. The week I picked these, and dug the potatoes, we didn't have to get potatoes, pumpkin or tomatoes from the market. Ka-Ching!
We're still eating the tomatoes we grew on the front deck, and still picking the wild ones from the back garden. Gotta love this pretending-to-be-a-gardener thing.
Terakihi fillets...
...with salmon fillets...
...layered on baking paper with peeled deveined shrimps, spring onions, sprigs of fresh tarragon, freshly ground pepper and salt and a little wine and olive oil...
...wrapped up nicely, with the fold to the top, ready to go in the oven.
Meanwhile, some organic potatoes were put on to boil with heaps of rosemary...
...and a fresh garden salad full of cherry tomatoes was tossed together...
... as was the fruit salad for afters.
When the fish was done in the oven (I think it was about 15 minutes at 200C), it was served up with the salad, potatoes and fresh focaccia bread.
Did I mention that my uncle was a chef in a former life? He's not anymore, but he sure does do a good impression of one. It was quite superb, and I had almost forgotten how much I love fish.
Start with a whole cucumber and a sharp knife. 
Peel and slice the cucumber lengthwise. Scrape out the seeds and discard. Chop into roughly 5mm pieces.
Toss the cucumber pieces in a sieve with a generous amount of salt and leave to drain over a bowl or the sink. Rest for a good couple of hours. The salt draws out the bulk of the cucumber's bitter moisture. 
In a bowl, mix up the cucumber with 1 Cup of natural yoghurt, 1/4 Cup of fresh chopped mint, 1t sugar, and a squeeze of lemon juice. Leave in the fridge until you're about to dish up.
Fry up that lamb in hot olive oil with freshly ground pepper and salt and bit of minced garlic. Meanwhile, layer up your homemade buns with a bit of salad and the essential sour cream on the lid.
Put it all together with a slice of cheese, and enjoy. 
