Things that Fatherhood has Taught Me

1. Anything which looks like something that you know the word for can legitimately be called by the name of the thing you know;
2. If it looks like a bug, its a bug;
3. If it says MEOW, its a Fluff;
4. If it has four legs and isn't a Fluff, it says WOOF;
5. Unless its a cow, in which case it says Moo;
6. Or sometimes WOOF;
7. Lions and Tigers say ROAR, but leopards don't. Silly Daddy.
8. Being overtired does not mean that the 18-month-old will go to sleep any more easily;
9. Being outside is much more fun than being inside, unless the Fluff is inside, then being inside is much cooler;
10. If there's water, then that's the best place to be;
11. If there's also mud, that's even better;
12. Helping Daddy with Cooking means grabbing any utensil you can lay your hands on and taking it to the couch, or the bathroom, or the bedroom, and then forgetting about it;
13. If it looks like a sausage, it probably is. Best try eating it to check;
14. Chairs are not for sitting, they are for climbing, as are couches and tables and beds and benches and clothesracks and anything else that can be reached, either from the floor or wherever a stool can be pushed to;
15. "One More" can be applied to any situation any number of times to allow a given activity to continue indefinitely, or until Mummy or Daddy enforces the "Last One" instruction - usually two or three times;

And finally, as a Dad I've learned that when you have to walk at the same pace as the 18-month-old, and you have to stop and inspect all the marvels of the world as closely as he does - things like flowers, and drains, and puddles, and pinecones - you'll find that there's more all around you to see than you've realised in the years since you used to walk that slow and look at the world with such awe and fascination. So no matter how old you feel, sometimes it can be worthwhile to take the time to see things like an almost-two-year old again.